Thursday, April 23, 2009

Job 42:2

"I know that you can do all things, NO plan of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2


Friends, I learned a very hard lesson this week. I am not in charge of my life. I am a child of God and He knows the plans for my life and for my family. And God's plans can not be thwarted.... but Sarah's plans most certainly can. I have had a week full of convictions in my heart and through grace I have felt God's comfort and peace. I am a sinner and I wrongly, stepped in front of God and tried to lead my life without letting him fully guide me. I was not patient in waiting to see what was in store.

When Greg found out about his job, we quickly made several decisions without waiting. We told my principal I wouldn't return and started planning for other major decisions like buying a house and me being stay at home mommy. Well, in Greg's "official" meeting we found that as his company promised- they had excellent insurance for Greg, but we failed to know the details regarding carrying Ivy and I on that plan. All in all, it was going to be totally unaffordable to carry our family on his insurance. As we crunched numbers, and instinct kicked in that I didn't know I had- an instinct to provide where I know I can. Teachers have excellent benefits, and this is what we wrongly assumed all jobs had. I am confident in my ability as a teacher and I am confident that this is a very real calling in my life. And I know, in order to move forward I am going to have to go back to work- full time- next year.

I was so sure that God had given me a heart that lacked being able to pull this off.... but in the past 48 hours God is already preparing me. I have fallen into His arms for rest and assurance that I can be an excellent Mommy and teacher. I have several people to look to as role models as I walk this road next year, and probably for many years to come. Through many meaningful conversations, I know that this is what is best for our family. I am so thankful for the revelation that I had after this post. I was counting down the days until the end of school and chose to be joyful for those 30 days... in that joy I started to feel very bittersweet about leaving my job, I had realistic fears about being home, and I longed to have my own classroom for that next 30 days just to regain that teacher ownership that only us teachers really understand :). And those feelings all began to make sense on Tuesday evening. I am able to look at our future and be positive.


I am still asking for prayers and I would love for you to join in- my principal has not yet confirmed that I will have a job. She had moved forward with paperwork after I told her I wouldn't return and I have to wait to hear the status of my job. Other teachers have built my confidence in this but until I hear her confirmation I cannot fully rest. Wilmore is my comfort zone and that is where I would want to teach- hands down. That is a place I would want to send my own children. So I am asking for your prayers for my job security. Once we are assured that I will return to WES we are going to start looking for houses much closer to where I work. This will alleviate some of the travel time and stress that come along with that. I will be able to be close to Ivy while she is at the babysitters and close to my home. I will be able to live in the community where I work. So I would love for you to join me in this prayer.
Here are some scriptures that I have been resting in the past few days:
Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16
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Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
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Cast all your anxiety on Hm because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
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Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:24
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Many, O Lord, are the wonders you have done. The things you plan for us no one can recount to you; were I to tell of them there are too many.
Psalm 40:5
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Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10
*I will update as soon as I hear anything from my principal. Thanks for your prayers!

13 comments:

  1. Wow Sarah. I am so proud of you for your open heart. It is a very strong conviction to take care of your family's needs- in any way possible. You will be a wonderful working mommy (already are) and Ivy is a very blessed and well rounded little girl. I will be praying that your job security be made known as soon as possible. There are hard days but having my class and my sweet boy at home are two of the biggest blessings in my life.

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  2. Sarah, I'm so sorry about all of this. I am right there with you on not knowing about next year and it's so stressful! Come talk to me if you want...I've done the full and part-time thing as a mom so I may have some advice for ya! Praying for you!!

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  3. I'm sorry to hear that this is all happening, but am so amazed at the way you are handling it. I'm sure there are several kiddos and parents that will be glad you will be a teacher again next year. We may not have met in person yet, but I can tell from your posts that you are the type of teacher that parents hope their kids will have. I pray that you will be able to return to your job without any problems.

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  4. Isn't it amazing how God works? I am so sorry to hear that the plans you had made are not falling into place at the moment, but maybe in time they will. I know you will do a wonderful job as teacher and mommy so don't ever feel that you aren't. It's all about balance and God will give you what you need to make it through... doesn't He always. I will be praying for you and your family for peace, help with house hunting and all of the many transitions you guys are going through!

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  5. I love you and am proud of you. Your positive attitude is a blessing. God will provide--He always does! You are a wonderful mommy and you working will in NO way take away from that. Hey--you turned out OK, didn't you??? :)

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  6. I'm so sorry that you are going through this but....wow you are sooooo strong. It's amazing to see such strength and clarity in you. I know Ivy will always been thankful that her mom loves her enough to do whatever it takes for the family. You are in my prayers.

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  7. It's so hard for me to remind myself that in times of trial it's important to realize God knows exactly what we need and sometimes that's His way of making it happen. I admire your strength and willingness to be so humble and to fully allow yourself to trust in Him! This post was such a great (and much needed) reminder for me to do the same! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I'll keep you and your sweet family in my prayers.

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  8. Sarah,
    Thanks for what you shared. It's really encouraging. I'm totally praying for you and Greg and Ivy and love you guys a whole lot. You are blessings that are being used amazingly to bless so many.

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  9. Sarah- You are a wonderful mommy to Ivy and no matter what you do, nothing will change that. I am truly sorry that you and your family are having to deal with some changes that you were not expecting. I know how much you wanted to stay home with Ivy. Ultimately, as you said God is in full control of our lives. We are just merely puppets in His hands. He has complete sovereignty. I imagine HE has very specific little people in mind, that need some "Sarah" in their lives. HE needs YOU (on only you) to be used by Him for this purpose.

    I guess at the end of the day, that is really all it amounts to.

    I totally respect how you and Greg are handling this. I would be kicking and screaming:) You both rock!

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  10. I'll be praying for you! My sister is a full time teacher and has three little boys (5 and under) at home. Somehow she handles it all, and God will supply all of your needs as well! I'm so sorry things did not work out as originally planned, I know you were disappointed.

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  11. Oh Sarah this post just broke my heart. It can be such a struggle to let go and trust in God to show you the path He is choosing for you and your family. I am always thinking I know what we want for our future and am reminded every time that it's not ever what "we" want. I admire your willingness to provide your family with the insurance you need. You never know what life brings along, and I know our family would have been in a very bad place had it not been for our insurance. You are a great Mommy and congrats on Greg's new job! Insurance or not that is really great, especially in these hard times. :)

    "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

    (I realize you don't believe in the Book of Mormon, but I love this scripture as well.)

    "And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit."
    Doctrine and Covenants 11:12

    Ok. I am done. Sorry so long.

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  12. Being Stretched is so challenging, yet often yields rewards and blessings. Keep leaning on the Lord.

    And I miss you too!!!

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Thanks for your encouragement as I travel through this season of life called mommyhood!