Monday, June 28, 2010

Ugh!

Today has been one of those days.... and it is only 2:30. I am exhausted and drained from motherhood. Ivy's year of being two is near over and these are some things that I have learned.
1. The terrible two's go in spurts and they are either really terrific and so much fun to be around or (like today) they can pretty terrible.

2. You spend so much time being consistent and it does pay off.

3. Choose a form a discipline a stick to it. Time out and isolation works for Ivy- in rare cases she gets a swat on the bottom- when she is doing something completely intolerable after several rounds of time out.

4. Enjoy all that they are learning and soaking up, but realize they are getting to where they can manipulate others.

5. It's okay to put yourself in time out when you need a break. I often go in my room and shut the door when I feel like I am going to loose my cool with my two year old. It takes a couple of minutes for me to pray, gain my sanity, and go back to parenting with a better outlook.

6. Try to create situations where your child WILL have success. Don't run errands at nap time, don't out stay your welcome, and don't put them in situations that tempt them to act out.

7. Vent to someone.... or you might explode. I can vent to Greg, my mom, and my friends- all who can console me when Ivy is about to drive me bonkers- and sometimes I just need to blog about it.

8. Forgive yourself when you make parenting mistakes-- it's going to happen, forgive yourself, and move on.

9. I will never again look at an UNRULY child in public and think "the parents need to get in control"..... I have been that parent and know that sometimes you are doing all you can to survive.

10. Celebrate the little accomplishments in a BIG way to make them see new independence as a good thing.

Today has been hard. I can't say it has been the hardest day of parenting ever... but it has been ugly. Ivy hasn't pooped in 5 days and it has her quite grumpy! Not to make excuses, but I don't think that is helping the situation. She is screaming, hitting, and acting foolish. We went to a friend's house and I was mortified by the way she spoke to me and her lack of manners. I ended up putting her down for a nap in the midst of her screaming like the devil, which is not are usual routine!! I miss rocking, reading stories, and making her "snug as a bug in a rug" (yes, Ivy would still be swaddled if they made big enough blankets). I feel sad and guilty about the way she acted. I am embarrassed that my friend didn't get to see the usual bubbly personality of Ivy. It scares me for days like this to come, when I have two children. My feelings are hurt and I hope that she wakes up happy and preferably, ready to poop! Cheers to the rest of the day.

PS- I planned to blog about the giggles that rang in my backyard last night when Greg and Ivy had a water fight, but my mind wasn't there. Those will come later. Maybe tomorrow!

Update: Yesterday continued to be TERRIBLE but this morning was different. Who knew I could be so happy about a 2 year old pooping??!! Not pooping alters her personality completely... and it is not fun!

8 comments:

  1. Your #6 is how we plan our lives! I've always let Bode have his nap, put him to bed on time and plan everything around those times. Everyone thinks I'm crazy and your child should adjust to YOUR schedule but I think the exact opposite. Bode is a dream when he gets the sleep he needs. He's just awful if he doesn't. I always want to give him the chance to have a good day. Of course there are times that I can't follow the schedule, but I feel like since I try to most days he's ok the days I don't.

    All kids have bad days. I'm sure miss Ivy's good days outnumber the bad. You're a great mom! Sometimes our best is all we can do and it's just not enough. Feel comfort in knowing you are doing your very best!!!

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  2. Be kind to yourself. Children sometimes have a mind of their own and appear to be possessed by who knows what! Believe it or not, you sometimes acted in a very similar fashion--and you turned out to be a beautiful young woman, inside and out. This too shall pass---don't hurry it along too quickly though. I have said it a million times--big investments now for great returns later. Your consistency will be worth it.

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  3. Your a great mom Sarah and I agree and LOVE all your points.

    We definitly want our kids to learn to be flexible but we also want to be the adults and give them best opportunity to be good. If we go to Wal-mart at 7:30 pm, our expectations can not be very high:) I also put myself in time-out sometimes. Parenting 90% of the time is the most amazing thing ever. There is such much joy and love that comes from it that generally even makes the bad not really that bad. I can not even put it into words. But there is also this small 10% that is sometimes incredibly painful. I become so aware of these parts of me that I never knew existed. I think Satan tries so hard to pull out our weaknesses and use them against us.

    I am CONSTANTLY reminding myself that whatever I want to teach my girls, I have to be 100% of the time (or at least close to it:) If I want them to have self-control, I must have it, if I want them to obey, I must obey, and so on and so forth.

    As far as poor Ivy's digestive issues, I think I would be grumpy too:) Naomi went 15 days once we she was an infant. It was SOOO not fun!!!

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  4. Sarah.. Think how long this list would be if baby #2 was going to be a boy! :) Keep doing what your doing and in the end it will pay off!!! You've got a great girl and be glad that your getting a taste of these days...wait until she is a teenager:) When we all get back, bring Ivy over and have a day of rest! Wish I was there to help out now.

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  5. This is such a great list!! I'm seriously bookmarking this for when Isis gets older!

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  6. first of all, thanks for the advice. I am sure I will be there soon enough. I guess there is something at every stage. You know I understand that pull your hair out feeling. Bennett is still waking up 5 to 7 times a night. Twice to feed and the other times he just cries. I can usually put his paci in and he will go back to sleep, but it still keeps me awake.

    Hopefully Ivy was back to her sweet self after her nap

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  7. lmao! I know, when my kids were little, I was ruled by their bowel movements! I smiled all the way through your points. I'm glad you feel consistency pays off...I have a 14 year old who I'm still waiting to find out if consistency works...

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  8. I loved this post Sarah! I've definitely been there and experienced all of the emotions you described! Having a 2 year old is absolutely amazing, but can be a disaster at the same time. As I've already told you before, I've cried on several occassions because my feelings have been hurt by something she has said or done, but then I've laughed and smiled way more! Being pregnant and the "terrible two" outbreaks aren't a good mixture! But, yay for almost surviving it!

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Thanks for your encouragement as I travel through this season of life called mommyhood!