Sunday, December 22, 2013

connected but disconnected

 I would say I am someone who struggles with self control.  I have an internal dialogue about it multiple times a day, it's a prayer from my mouth and heart each morning and many times throughout the day, and I still fall short.... often.  I vow to only eat sweets once a week, I tell myself "I will not open my mouth!" about certain subjects, and I make attempts to limit my exposure to things like Facebook.  I lack self control with things that I find to be slightly addictive.... Facebook, chocolate, and sometimes gossip.  (Ewww, yuck, just speaking those words sounds so lame and so ugly.) But I am on a quest for self control in 2014 to be a model for my girls, to strengthen my personal relationships, and to disconnect from things that don't evoke good feelings and rather connect to the people in life where God has called me.  To have a personal relationship with Christ, to be a wife, to be a mom, to be a friend.

I told the world first- 1 week in advance, but before I could change my mind- through my Instagram feed and linked it to Facebook. I know you will hold me accountable in this quest for self control.  I  talked to my mama about this and spoke of limiting my Facebook encounters but I know me, and I know I will do really well for a bit, then I will slowly slip back into my old patterns.  I then talked to my husband about it, my husband who was graced with incredible self control, who jumped the Facebook ship long ago.  His encouragement- cut the chord- you'll be happier, you won't feel so stretched.  And he knows me too well and I know he is right. So I will delete my account altogether before the clock strikes 12 and I start 2014.

I am busy.  I work full time.  I have 3 young children.  I have a thriving marriage that I am committed to making time for.  I am involved in my church.  I like to exercise. I like to read. I like to blog. The list goes on and on- and Facebook just doesn't fit anymore.  It is a distraction to my life and my family and my time.  While I love being able to stay connected to my old friends it has slipped away from that being the primary purpose but rather is a breeding ground for things that bother me and eat away at me. 

Every time I read something on Facebook that stirs up an ugly emotion I think of Philippians 4:8-  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  I want to fill my mind with those Godly things and I am not finding those things on Facebook...usually. I can find them through personal conversations, I can find them through Bible study, I can find them on blogs and in articles that I choose to find and read not just stumble upon. Facebook has become a political breeding ground and I find myself judging others based on the things that they so willingly put out there.  I don't want to be the judge and I don't want to contaminate my friendships due to some haphazard status update that they typed to answer Facebook's daily question.... what are you thinking? 

I will still be on Instagram- I love seeing pictures.  There is hardly anything offensive found in the pictures on my feed.  I will still be updating on my family blog- probably more often.  I love this outlet- to write, to reflect, to capture memories.  I'd love for you to chose to follow along in our journey.  Feel free to send me your email address ( if you would like my blog posts to automatically be delivered to you in cyberspace- the way I usually directly link them to my Facebook account! :)  I appreciate the encouragement that I already have been given in this choice and I hope that I will be more intentional about making personal connections with each of you.

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Thanks for your encouragement as I travel through this season of life called mommyhood!