The orchard in the summer.... a first for my family. But a rare July day with temperatures barely in the 70's, it seemed like a perfect option- and it was. The crowds were nonexistent, the price was right, and there were little girls having a blast with the playgrounds and farm animals to themselves.
But while I was there I felt the overwhelming presence of someone I didn't want to be there.... the Mommy Nag {and I am not talking about the joy-filled, cheerful, seize-the-moment Nana}. Do you know her, the Mommy Nag? Do you ever see her reigning her ugly head at your house? The sound of a harsh voice saying no, stop, 1.... 2.... 3.... quit..... and sometimes she can even get sarcastic asking really?, seriously? to your toddler's antics. The Mommy Nag is everything I don't want to be and I wish she wasn't hovering on this perfect summer day.
The Nana can always speak truth to me.... and she did that evening, not even knowing that I too had been stewing over my own actions. She was probably rather pleased that this was nothing for me to be defensive about but instead I was telling her how I knew and didn't want to be that way. Again, feeling like it was the type of experience where I was standing alongside the nag saying, "Sarah, stop being this way! They are children.... your children.... love them." So I am trying to banish the Mommy Nag from my existence and I am sure it is something I will have to be intentional about for the rest of my life if I am being honest.
I have enough excuses for this stage in my life....
end of pregnancy,
lack of sleep,
hormones,
the back to school itch,
sisters that are a little tired of one another.
But many of those excuses will be here for the next 18 years of child raising and I can't let them rob me of the joys of this journey called motherhood.
So I want to flee from the Mommy Nag and not let her rob my motherhood memories and this precious time with my girls. I want to be able to celebrate the little daily victories like climbing to the top of the hay bales and feeding the farm animals all by yourself. I want to let them stop and climb to the top of the orchard throne even if I am starving. I want to let them laugh.... a little too loud.... and sing silly make believe songs.... even if somewhere on the inside I am craving quiet.
They are children, my children, God's gift to Greg and I, and I am about to have 3. I am sure adding to the brood will be not the way to cure the Mommy Nag, but rather I will have to be that much more intentional about not letting her creep in. I want to be able to take my time, let the small stuff pass without comment, and really sit back and enjoy these moments of childhood that will be so fleeting. I am thankful for perfect summer days at the Orchard.... and I know there will be plenty more of the memory making days in our lives.... and I hope to be the only Mommy {joy filled, nag free} there!
