snowing patience

I spent at least 20 minutes dressing these girls and convincing Tula she really needed all these layers only for her stand screaming at the door in 3 minutes because she really just wanted to wear tights INSIDE rather than play outside.

A huge perk to my husband spending my 30th birthday in 2 ERs (another story for another day- he is fine and well now) was that he stayed home the next day to enjoy the first snowday of the week with us.  Ivy loved to have him home to play outside with her!

 Well, snowflakes have been falling and temperatures have been dropping for the past 4 days with no relief giving me a week off of school for my birthday week.  Snow days.  I love them!  Huge perk of being a teacher.  A wonderful surprise to wake up to.  Memories are made at home with my little ladies.  But for the sake of keeping it real in this space, I wish it were snowing patience rather than snowing snowflakes this week.  This week I have had to count to 10 (or maybe 1,000) more times than I care to share, spoken in a whisper to say "I feel like screaming", and busted out in random song to tell my girls for the seven trillionth time to please stop arguing! SO maybe it is snowing patience in the form of "let me give you some practice" rather than dishing out this character trait by the truckloads. 

Nothing like a snow day, or a week of them, to practice having patience and to really challenge me in my quest to not yell for 365 days.  This week has been good for the most part but sometimes when I sit down to write I just have to reflect on the struggles first to get them out and that's where I am today.  Have I yelled? Nope.  Have I felt like yelling? Yes, approximately 32 times each waking hour of the last 4 days.  Being cooped in the house is challenging especially when my girls like to get out and go, and that isn't so easy with ice covered pavement, a tiny baby, and a mama that is afraid to drive or even walk out in the elements. So I have tried to overcome these feelings and accept the practice for patience time that God is giving me.

What's working?

* We are eating breakfast together.  Tula likes to eat RIGHT when she wakes up, Ivy likes to wait until nearly lunch to take a bite of breakfast. So I end up making breakfasts and cleaning up breakfasts for 3 hours- testing my patience- yep.  So we've met in the middle and are eating one time!  

 

* No TV time until I need to take a shower in peace. By this time the girls are usually a little tired of toys and each other, and if it's been kept on lock down all morning they are ready for a little veg time and Joss is taking a peaceful morning nap.

* Quiet time in unison. I think I mastered the "everyone's going to be silent for at least 30 minutes.... simultaneously" skill that is a must of mom's with more than one child. Ivy has quiet time (Thank you, Rainbow Loom!), Tula takes a nap, Joss takes a nap, and Mommy has Bible study time to remember that even in Esther's time it was tough being a woman.

* No more multitasking.... writing an email takes 35 minutes if it is in between taking care of baby dolls, singing to Joss, and breaking up fights over baby cradles..... writing an email takes 2 minutes when all children are playing nicely or better yet, sleeping nicely.

So this afternoon, keeping it real, that days at home can be trying, but I have survived and am practicing patience knowing that these days are fleeting.  Little kids, little problems.... at least I don't have to worry about them trying to get out an drive on these roads or go out and do donuts with their friends in an abandon parking lot.  Not that I have ever done that.... never.  Little kids, little problems, and thank you, Lord, for snowing patience on me.

On Tuesday morning Ivy left these on the computer.... love notes from my girl are always a pick me up.

My saving grace.... "Let's take a bath!".... never mind that it is only 4pm and we never got out of our pajamas.

Weaning

 Today Joss is 5 months old and Tula had a to "help" with taking her picture. 

In my own experience with 3 babies I have had 3 very different nursing experiences.  With Ivy's I was constantly trying to jump the next hurdle, with Tula I was on a mission to prove something to myself, and with Joss I was very anxious about how nursing might look with two big kids to run around.  But I only have good things to say about my time nursing Joss (other than that time with mastitis and, oh yes, the dreaded pumping at work) but other than that this time has been balanced, peaceful, and so go with the flow.

 Daddy always loves feeding Joss, but I am quite the baby hog in this house. Sorry Daddy!

 If you read that last sentence and know me at all you just might have laughed and then you might have read it again because those characteristics don't usually describe me or my life.  But seriously, I was so nervous, panicky, and worried my entire pregnancy with this sweet baby so I spent lots of time in prayer just begging for God to cover me with the fruits of the spirit especially once I became a mommy to three.  And that prayer has been answered in so many ways since Joss has entered our family, but today I want to reflect on how I felt His spirit in nursing.

 

Joss was my first baby to latch on and eat without a nipple shield.....ever. -- I was patient with learning to nurse again.

Joss ate good and slept good from the night we came home from the hospital if I am being honest. -- We were all joyful about good sleep.

Mommy got mastitis, I was able to nurse through it.-- I was calm during this trial.

Mommy's milk seemed to take a hit after mastitis and I had to supplement one evening bottle of  breast milk and/or formula before I had a stash starting at 3 weeks. --I was peaceful with this addition to Joss' diet.

My milk came back and I was able to strictly nurse by 6 weeks. -- I was thankful.

I went back to work and was pumping 2ish times a day and still have quite the stash to show for it. -- I had self control to manage my time at work to fit this in.

Around the 4 month mark I started feeling ready to start weaning. -- I started off anxious for a "right now" fix but instead was patient in waiting to know when was the best time and I let Joss take the lead. There was never any crying or upset tummies over the bottle.  There was never any rejection felt by mommy or baby.  There were smiles, full bellies, and lots of helpers.

 Ivy was excited to feed Joss for the first time.

So shortly after the 4 month mark I decided that my time at home over Christmas with Joss would be the best option to start weaning my littlest babe.  I knew I wanted to be there.  I wanted to feed the bottles.  I wanted to be able to look at her and comfort her and bond with her even if I wasn't nursing her.  And I was filled with such a peace that I was making the right choice for my family.  I felt absolutely covered in His love during this time that I feared would be over emotional or have major regrets once it started. I weaned one feeding a week for the past 4 weeks and this evening I nursed Jossie May for the last time.

Smiley girl!

I could have sat and rocked her and cried, not knowing if I would ever have this experience again or I could sing His praises for making this so smooth for us.  So I chose the latter.  Did I have tears? Absolutely.  But boy, did I feel blessed to be able to nurse and wean without a bump in the road- I keep saying third time's a charm.  I was able to listen to her hunger cues to know when I needed to add a bottle.  I was able to be there to feed a lot of those first bottles.  I was able to allow my body time to drop feedings to keep from becoming completely engorged.  It was good.  God was good.

Today I feel so blessed that I was able to nurse without issue for 5 months.

Today I feel so blessed that my girl is healthy and happy and growing.

Today I feel so blessed that I am at peace and embracing this decision- I wore a real bra today and got to exercise in the morning!! (I'm totally embracing!!)

So today we are weaned and we are blessed in the Smorstad house.

new year's "revolutions" and hot cocoa chats

today was our first snow day or rather cold day of the year.  even though it wasn't the day i would choose (the first day we were scheduled to go back after a long break)- it was wonderful.  wonderful to have a reason to be frozen in and not leave the house all day. wonderful to soak up some more time with my girls. wonderful not to have to get out of pajamas.

it's a new year- 2014- yep, 30 years after the year i was born (eeek!!)- and a new year, the start of a new decade in my life, is a good time to commit to some new things.  over the last few years i have learned to create attainable goals that truly push me but are not impossible. so this year's revolutions:

1* stop yelling (365 days without yelling)- i was loving the orange rhino challenge and this is just being more intentional to put things in place to stop yelling completely.  i already slipped and raised my voice on january 3rd but i hopped right back on the horse.  i have "no yelling" reminders on my phone set to ring at high stress times, i am trying to stop and have energy breaks when i'm feeling tense, and there will always be 2 very loud, very persistent little girls to help me succeed.

2* read the bible daily- NO more crazy goals but just to simply open my bible daily.  when His words fill me and i am drawing near to Him in so many ways i am a better wife, mom, teacher, etc.  this will help me to reach number 1 and number 3.

3* spend one on one time with my girls.  this is a daily thing- the reason that i am free from facebook- to be intentional about making time to connect to the people closest to my heart. but it's also a special thing, so we set up a monthly date calendar for them to ensure we are both investing time in our children.  ivy is excited because her and daddy are scheduled for january! this year ivy and tula will each get 3 dates with me and 3 with daddy. i know the return for this time well spent will be huge as they grow older!

so today, ivy and i had a hot cocoa date during the little girl's nap time and we talked about "revolutions." ivy is really into what everyone's revolutions are and no matter how many times i corrected.... resolutions.... she is continuing to talk about her revolutions, my revolutions, everyone's revolutions.  she hopes to pet the dog more - a revolution that she has already deemed super difficult. she also wants to work on being a good friend- naming specific things that she wants to do at school.... asking people to play who are shy, listening more when her friends are talking, and not just having one best friend.

it isn't always easy to stop and spend time with just ivy and me.  sometimes i am talked out, i am listened out, and i need a little peace, a little quiet while both tula and joss nap.  so i had her have 30 minutes of quiet time and during that time i was able to prepare myself for some one on one time with my biggest girl.  i know it sounds silly to say "prepare" but friends, it's true, it is sometimes hard for me to give up me time (nap time) to anyone else but when i do stop, disconnect from everything and everyone else, i am always thankful. 

i am thankful to learn more about my girl's heart.  that she is growing older and wanting to be a better friend.  that she has compassion toward our sweet pup and for the shy girl in her class. that she is asking questions- why do you want to not yell anymore? why do you need to read the bible every day?- good questions that push me, and that hold me accountable to my actions. i was thankful to hear her heart and share mine with her.  i see her pretending and playing and being a little girl but then in our one on one time i see that she is maturing into a little lady (not too fast though).  i want to be sure i am doing all i can to shape her into the lady God calls her to be..... and my actions are the first thing she will want to imitate. the pressure is on- but i am ready to rise to the challenge.

cheers to new revolutions!

a cozy christmas

 This Christmas we decided to change up tradition from year's past.  I have went to Louisville every Christmas since I can remember to visit both my mom's and dad's sides of the family.  It is always so much fun to see everyone but the crowd is definitely dwindling as the cousins grow older and start families of their own.  So last year as we got in the car to come home close to 10pm, got to bed very late, and had early risers to greet the goods from Santa- I made an executive decision- we would no longer travel on Christmas Eve.  We missed seeing Great Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins but it was a good time to be had with our little family of 5. 

 *Christmas Eve Traditions est. 2013*

Christmas day, Jesus' Birthday was spent mostly at home.  Our girls were excited to wake up well rested and ready to play.  Santa knew we had 3 girls as the Christmas tree area was littered with all things pink, purple, and baby dolls,.  Our girls were excited to play with their new baby dolls and accessories all morning long.  They did take a moment to make a duct tape purse and play dentist with a play dough set but other wise it was all about the babies.  One of our favorite Christmas traditions is to make Jesus' birthday cake, light candles, sing, and have a party for the greatest gift of all.  His birth is the greatest gift of all, not just on Christmas day but every day of our lives.  He is not just the reason for the season but rather the reason for everything and His love, grace, and mercy blesses us each day. I love seeing my little ones so excited about celebrating Him!

*Family Memories*

This Christmas was different but different was good.  

It was cozy.  It was full of love. It was perfectly perfect.

connected but disconnected

 I would say I am someone who struggles with self control.  I have an internal dialogue about it multiple times a day, it's a prayer from my mouth and heart each morning and many times throughout the day, and I still fall short.... often.  I vow to only eat sweets once a week, I tell myself "I will not open my mouth!" about certain subjects, and I make attempts to limit my exposure to things like Facebook.  I lack self control with things that I find to be slightly addictive.... Facebook, chocolate, and sometimes gossip.  (Ewww, yuck, just speaking those words sounds so lame and so ugly.) But I am on a quest for self control in 2014 to be a model for my girls, to strengthen my personal relationships, and to disconnect from things that don't evoke good feelings and rather connect to the people in life where God has called me.  To have a personal relationship with Christ, to be a wife, to be a mom, to be a friend.

I told the world first- 1 week in advance, but before I could change my mind- through my Instagram feed and linked it to Facebook. I know you will hold me accountable in this quest for self control.  I  talked to my mama about this and spoke of limiting my Facebook encounters but I know me, and I know I will do really well for a bit, then I will slowly slip back into my old patterns.  I then talked to my husband about it, my husband who was graced with incredible self control, who jumped the Facebook ship long ago.  His encouragement- cut the chord- you'll be happier, you won't feel so stretched.  And he knows me too well and I know he is right. So I will delete my account altogether before the clock strikes 12 and I start 2014.

 

I am busy.  I work full time.  I have 3 young children.  I have a thriving marriage that I am committed to making time for.  I am involved in my church.  I like to exercise. I like to read. I like to blog. The list goes on and on- and Facebook just doesn't fit anymore.  It is a distraction to my life and my family and my time.  While I love being able to stay connected to my old friends it has slipped away from that being the primary purpose but rather is a breeding ground for things that bother me and eat away at me. 

Every time I read something on Facebook that stirs up an ugly emotion I think of Philippians 4:8-  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  I want to fill my mind with those Godly things and I am not finding those things on Facebook...usually. I can find them through personal conversations, I can find them through Bible study, I can find them on blogs and in articles that I choose to find and read not just stumble upon. Facebook has become a political breeding ground and I find myself judging others based on the things that they so willingly put out there.  I don't want to be the judge and I don't want to contaminate my friendships due to some haphazard status update that they typed to answer Facebook's daily question.... what are you thinking? 

I will still be on Instagram- I love seeing pictures.  There is hardly anything offensive found in the pictures on my feed.  I will still be updating on my family blog- probably more often.  I love this outlet- to write, to reflect, to capture memories.  I'd love for you to chose to follow along in our journey.  Feel free to send me your email address (mamasmors@gmail.com) if you would like my blog posts to automatically be delivered to you in cyberspace- the way I usually directly link them to my Facebook account! :)  I appreciate the encouragement that I already have been given in this choice and I hope that I will be more intentional about making personal connections with each of you.

Joss Maven @ 4 Months

Joss Maven

4 months on December 13th

Height: 24 inches (42%)

Weight: 11 lb 4 oz (8%)

It is hard to believe Jossie is already 4 months old! Yes, our little one has a few nick names.  Sometimes she's just Baby Joss but other times she is Jossie and Jossie Mae.  We do love our little peanut and cannot believe she is already 4 months old.  Time is flying with her (I didn't expect anything different) but this time I really really want to be able to enjoy each and everyday.  And so that is exactly what we are doing! 

 What's new?

Eating

Joss eats six times a day getting two bottles (one formula) during the day at Mrs. Gina's and nursing the rest of the time.  She is flexible to go back and forth between bottle and breast and I have even tried putting her to bed with the bottle and it was a success.  The doctor didn't like her dropping from the 16% to the 8% in weight and wants us to add a feeding, increase number of ounces, and/or start oatmeal.  I am not super eager to start oatmeal so we will just be doing to the others to increase her calories.  It is hard to find a place to sneak in an extra feeding because she truly seems content after and between eating times.  She has little rolls on her legs and has chubby little cheeks.  Joss is growing just fine to me!! 

I do plan to start weaning her over Christmas break just to eliminate pumping at work in January.  You know I totally hate the pump!  Then I will try feeding her before and after work for as long as my supply allows.  I do love nursing but there is a lot that comes along with nursing and working that makes it less desirable. 

Sleeping

Baby Joss is a great sleeper!  She takes two big naps during the day in the pack n play or crib at home.  Then she always has one little snoozer in the evening before going down for her 10-12 hour slumber at night.  (Other mamas don't be too jealous I paid my dues with Tula.... I promise!  But in turn I still have a very cuddly 3 year old.)  

  

Jossie is pretty easy to please and will sleep in the arms of a loved on or in the swing but she rarely sleeps in the car.  She likes to look around.... don't put up the sun shade or you will have a screamer!!

Playing

Jossie loves to be talked to and sang to...... do NOT walk away though because we are in that "please entertain me every second since I can't entertain myself yet" phase.  She seriously is heart broken when your little conversations are over.  She loves looking at the lights and hearing the music of her play mat.  She just started "talking" to the little birds and grabbing onto the toy rings that are hanging down around her.  She acts like to is really into the TV when the girls are watching Sofia the First or Mickey Mouse which is funny!! 

Her most adored item is her bunny blankie, given to her by a sweet former student, Catie Grace.  She seriously loves having her bunny at all times!  I would love to say she also adores her paci but right now she has figured out how to weasel her thumb into her mouth and suck away.... NOOOOOO!  Right now we are still calling this a phase and are hoping she starts to prefer the paci soon.  Surely she can't be copying Tula just yet.... riiight?!?!

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I am so thankful for the blessing of Joss. I really am.  I know I say that every time I write about her but I am thankful to have another little one to love.  I was so full of anxiety during her pregnancy there was part of me that was afraid it would all rise to a boil when she was born.  Satan made me believe that I was not fit to be a mom of three because of the way I felt when she was in the womb. The exact opposite happened.  She has brought with her such a sense of peace upon my heart and I know more than ever that she was the perfect addition to our family. 

Ivy & Tula Recital Weekend 2013

 This year was Tula's first year in dance.  She has wavered back and forth on whether she likes dance class or not but on Monday afternoons she is ready to go hours before dance begins.  However, her first performance just for the parents at the studio she sobbed and said it was "silly to dance in front of all those people."  We were shocked by this considering her very extrovert personality so I really wasn't sure about how she would do on the big stage!

 Daddy, Ivy, Joss, Nana, Pops, and even Mrs. Gina and Baby Giuliana came to watch Tula "be a ballerina" and she went out there and did her best!  I was thankful that the thumb came out of her mouth, there were no tears on stage, and she even did some toe taps and turns on point!  When suggesting she try another activity in the spring she got her head moving, her fingers pointing, and told me she was going to be a tap dancer..... so tap dancing it is and we will have another go at recital time in May.

 She was excited to be greeted with a flower from Nana and Pops and even was willing to pose for some pictures.  She came home and took a big long nap to gear up for the Nutcracker performance set for the evening.  We were very proud of our Tula "Belle-rina" and her first recital!

The evening rolled around and we got our next ballerina ready to perform.  Even though Ivy is a bit of an introvert she loves performing on stage.  Her favorite part of the dance season is getting make up on, hair fixed, costume set, and getting on the big stage.   

We were so thankful that Nana and Pops played the role of proud grandparents all day long and were willing to help hold Baby Joss, bring us dinner over, and applauded dancers from noon to night! I just might add that Joss was awesome sitting through two recitals without so much as a whimper.  We are thankful for our very flexible girl who can go with the flow of our busy family. 

Ivy really impressed us in how much she had grown from last year to this year as far as performance goes.  I can tell that she is gaining confidence and remembering the routine better as a 6 year old.  She loves dance and hasn't shown any interest in trying another activity.  So for this little princess.... dance it is!  

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Click to watch the videos on YouTube

Ivy's Dance Recital 2013

Tula's First Dance Recital 2013