I want to enjoy the little moments.
I want to have balance to be able to really enjoy the little moments.
And being totally honest, totally raw.... lately I feel stretched.
Playing outside one pretty evening.... and soaking it ALL up!
Some days I have felt that "tight in my chest, really can't breathe" kind of stretched and it is hard. Being a working mommy is difficult and as much as I wake up, attempt to put on my rose colored glasses, and choose joy- it isn't every day that this routine is successful. There are days that I go to work dragging with a heart that feels like it must be breaking as I leave it with my family at home. There are days when I have to stay home a little longer to eat breakfast with my girls and cuddle an extra minute just so that I can make it for the next 8 hours. Then some mornings I think I have it figured out and I walk into work only to find defeat waiting at my classroom door. It has been one of those months.
A spontaneous birthday breakfast celebration.... on a Monday!
So I can mope around, and be sad- but friends, I tried that for the ENTIRE first year of Ivy's life and it proved to be a total FAIL! I was sad at home because I had to go to work the next day, I was sad at work because I had left Ivy at home, and every weekend I spent dreading Sunday night and every work week I spent longing for Friday afternoon. So it was a lot of time wasted away being anything but happy. And while I wish I could say I was enjoying the little moments, I wasn't doing that at all.
So now, my life situation has not changed. My work schedule cannot change. And on most days, I love my job. I take that back, everyday I love teaching and most days I do so without defeat. But there are a lot of other things about working that cause distraction and disruption in my time at home, my summer's off, and add that to the ever accessible internet and I am stretched too thin.
It is these little moments but BIG memories that I long for more of.
So I am going to do something different. I am going to guard my time like it is a prized possession- which it is. I am not engaging in time wasters since my time for family feels like it has been robbed from me when I put my babies to bed at the end of a "too quick, too busy" day. I am working to prioritize things at school so that I can get home and feel good about the condition of my plans and my classroom- but know that there is always going to be more that I can do, no matter how long I stay the list will keep growing. And last, I am putting on my armor and shouting it from the roof tops "I am MOMMY first." My children are little once and there will be time for extras, but for now, I am learning to say no. No, I won't be able to make it to that event that I am just feeling obligated to attend. No, I won't be able to take on the extra work responsibility. No, I won't be able to cook for this or join you for that. I want to be polite, I want to have tact, and I want to quit having to stretch my way through life.
This is what I am fighting for....
Goodbye January, you have been a tough one for me.
Hoping for more balance and a lot more time to enjoy the little moments with my family.
I want to have balance to be able to really enjoy the little moments.
And being totally honest, totally raw.... lately I feel stretched.
Playing outside one pretty evening.... and soaking it ALL up!Some days I have felt that "tight in my chest, really can't breathe" kind of stretched and it is hard. Being a working mommy is difficult and as much as I wake up, attempt to put on my rose colored glasses, and choose joy- it isn't every day that this routine is successful. There are days that I go to work dragging with a heart that feels like it must be breaking as I leave it with my family at home. There are days when I have to stay home a little longer to eat breakfast with my girls and cuddle an extra minute just so that I can make it for the next 8 hours. Then some mornings I think I have it figured out and I walk into work only to find defeat waiting at my classroom door. It has been one of those months.
A spontaneous birthday breakfast celebration.... on a Monday!So I can mope around, and be sad- but friends, I tried that for the ENTIRE first year of Ivy's life and it proved to be a total FAIL! I was sad at home because I had to go to work the next day, I was sad at work because I had left Ivy at home, and every weekend I spent dreading Sunday night and every work week I spent longing for Friday afternoon. So it was a lot of time wasted away being anything but happy. And while I wish I could say I was enjoying the little moments, I wasn't doing that at all.
So now, my life situation has not changed. My work schedule cannot change. And on most days, I love my job. I take that back, everyday I love teaching and most days I do so without defeat. But there are a lot of other things about working that cause distraction and disruption in my time at home, my summer's off, and add that to the ever accessible internet and I am stretched too thin.
It is these little moments but BIG memories that I long for more of.So I am going to do something different. I am going to guard my time like it is a prized possession- which it is. I am not engaging in time wasters since my time for family feels like it has been robbed from me when I put my babies to bed at the end of a "too quick, too busy" day. I am working to prioritize things at school so that I can get home and feel good about the condition of my plans and my classroom- but know that there is always going to be more that I can do, no matter how long I stay the list will keep growing. And last, I am putting on my armor and shouting it from the roof tops "I am MOMMY first." My children are little once and there will be time for extras, but for now, I am learning to say no. No, I won't be able to make it to that event that I am just feeling obligated to attend. No, I won't be able to take on the extra work responsibility. No, I won't be able to cook for this or join you for that. I want to be polite, I want to have tact, and I want to quit having to stretch my way through life.
This is what I am fighting for....Goodbye January, you have been a tough one for me.
Hoping for more balance and a lot more time to enjoy the little moments with my family.
