Ivy and Tula talking through the glass door.... and what you don't see is the fit that follows because Tula doesn't understand why she can't go out too! This protector mommy knows that it just isn't safe for the grass eating, rock finding, sort of, kind of crawler/walker to go into the backyard without me :) But she just doesn't get it!
Being the protector of our children is hands down the most difficult job as a parent. Tula is getting to the age when I am constantly called to protect her from the dangers looming. As she toddles past sharp corners, onto tile floors, up tiny step stools, and towards the teensy "bites" she finds on the floor- my heart skips a beat 10 times over. As I remove her from one situation after another she flops back and cries not understanding that I am trying to keep her safe. I want to be able to plead with her that I just love her so much and am trying to avoid yet another purple goose egg on her pretty little face. But I know she won't understand.... and then I remember this is the time that being a protector is easy- the role is so clear- but as our children get older the boundaries get a little blurrier.
I think of Ivy.... only a little over 4.... at times my role as protector is still the "don't get physically hurt" type of protector but we are moving closer to protecting her from emotional dangers. That is hard, friends! These protector conversations often go past Ivy and straight to a discussion between DaddySmors and I. We talk about the way we have to scold her and teach her, while making sure to protect her spirit. And the way we still "help" her with her clothing choices while trying to protect her self confidence and creativity. I hear about her conversations with friends at school and the Mommy claws come out feeling the need to protect her from cliques and gossip as she grows older. We continue to want to protect Ivy physically but now also are fighting the battle to protect her from situations that we feel are a danger to our child- emotionally.
Then I think about the future (and my own past as a teenager). WOW! Being a protector to that age you work double time, protecting them both physically and emotionally every hour of every day. And at that age I still didn't understand my parent's good intentions to protect me. They were often accused of "ruining my life" or "not understanding what it's like!" Finally, as a mama myself I get it, my own parents loved me so much they wanted to protect me from the dangers looming around every corner. Now they have passed the torch and it is my turn to have the 24/7/365 job as protector for the next 18+ years. Shoooo.... I know it is going to be the most difficult Mommy job but I hope that one day Ivy and Tula will look at me and "get it!"
I think of Ivy.... only a little over 4.... at times my role as protector is still the "don't get physically hurt" type of protector but we are moving closer to protecting her from emotional dangers. That is hard, friends! These protector conversations often go past Ivy and straight to a discussion between DaddySmors and I. We talk about the way we have to scold her and teach her, while making sure to protect her spirit. And the way we still "help" her with her clothing choices while trying to protect her self confidence and creativity. I hear about her conversations with friends at school and the Mommy claws come out feeling the need to protect her from cliques and gossip as she grows older. We continue to want to protect Ivy physically but now also are fighting the battle to protect her from situations that we feel are a danger to our child- emotionally.
Then I think about the future (and my own past as a teenager). WOW! Being a protector to that age you work double time, protecting them both physically and emotionally every hour of every day. And at that age I still didn't understand my parent's good intentions to protect me. They were often accused of "ruining my life" or "not understanding what it's like!" Finally, as a mama myself I get it, my own parents loved me so much they wanted to protect me from the dangers looming around every corner. Now they have passed the torch and it is my turn to have the 24/7/365 job as protector for the next 18+ years. Shoooo.... I know it is going to be the most difficult Mommy job but I hope that one day Ivy and Tula will look at me and "get it!"
