mini-trip

 We made a mini trip to the state of Ohio over our spring break and definitely couldn't enter that state without seeing our favorite people.  Our first stops (and probably one of the best hours of my trip) was spent in Cincinnati with this boy!  It was a blast and oh how he is so lovable.  He calls me Auntie and insisted his Auntie cuddle him the whole time we were there.  Not much arm twisting on my part because I was soaking up my time with him.  Jossie and him are 11 months apart and in the next few years they are going to be best buds!  I can't wait to see them at the beach this summer!

We headed from Cincinnati on up to Columbus where we would spend the next few days!  This is what I learned......5 people in a hotel room is not for sissies!  Thankful for the pool and hot tub that the big girls loved so much and spent several hours at--- good for Mommy's sanity, their energy bursts, and some quiet time for baby who HATED the pool! (Good thing we have 2 months to work on that!)

I also learned that when someone is driving you bonkers focus on their high points.... so Tula Belle is the cuddliest of my children and she always will be.  She also trumps the Smorstad girls for being most flexible with her schedule, needs a nap.... takes a nap!  Those are two of my favorite Tula qualities and as for that.... it speaks for the way Tula's best qualities are not found cooped up in a hotel room!

One of our days was spent at COSI and our whole family had a so much fun exploring!  The Oceans exhibit was a family favorite.  The girls played in water, built water piping systems, and "rode" in a yellow submarine!

Then we headed up to the Children's area and Joss woke up from her nap to enjoy the fun!  We watched Rat Basketball (seriously, Rats playing basketball!), played on an indoor playground, and Ivy got to make crafts in the big kids section.  

Even California Pizza Kitchen had doll high chairs!!

The main reason we chose Columbus for our destination was the American Girl store.  It was a little girls dreamland but was a touch overwhelming at first.  Here's what worked for us- we went to the store 3 times before we shopped!  I know Ivy loves the detail of everything so I didn't want her to feel rushed.  The first time we did not even talk about what we might buy, she was just taking it all in.  Then we talked about a budget (both girls brought Christmas money that they saved and then Ivy had extra from chores that she had done and tooth fairy surprises).  The second time we went, it was just Ivy and I, and she would choose different items to think about how much money it would cost.  It was a great experience for her to learn about the value of money and that more items is not always best.  I've tried to teach her some about spending and saving money but the American Girl trip was definitely the time when she cared enough to listen! The third time we went to the store both girls got to shop and we were in and out in 15 minutes!!!

Enjoying the sunshine!

Mommies and sleeping babies!

Happy girls with their purchases, ready to go back to the hotel for some playtime!!

Our last adventure was eating at the American Girl Cafe.  It was the icing on the cake for ending our trip.  We got desserts because it was a 3:00 reservation.   The cupcake, cookie, and brownie plate that Ivy and Tula shared was adorable.  Everything was mini for their little fingers to pick right up!  The girls loved having their dolls join them and even get birthday stickers.  It was a great experience and am thankful that we got to add this to our family memories!

white flag is up... i lost

 Tula is fighting a clothes battle.... and I have surrendered.

There is said it wrote it.  I have decided to wave the white flag and let this battle go. Tula is dressing herself- 11 days in and we have all survived and gasp..... even been happier!

Tula pretty much prefers tennis shoes, panties, her purple pajamas, and a pair of black leggings (that have a hole worn in them).  In that order.  Any other clothes are over rated (and really uncomfortable according to my little lady) and she really would be just happy as a lark in tennis shoes and panties!

So really, in my heart of hearts.... I feel like we are meeting in the middle when she comes out in green polka dotted pants with a purple bunny shirt and a mardi gras necklace.  But here's what I have realized- as much as my life feels good to be matching and wearing spunky earrings, Tula feels good to be independent and somehow independent clothes picking = comfortable clothes. 

 In the end she has been happy about her choices each day but not without me drawing some lines that cause some pouting.  For example,  she couldn't wear no pants to our friend Lila's birthday party at the Explorium.  So she settled for a white tulle sparkled skirt on top of leggings. And I took a deep breath and said okay.... and we were going in public. 

 Or like the fact that I made her wait to wear Oaklee's hand me down Bubble Guppies shirt until AFTER church. She exerted independence and strong will by stomping and saying "No, I am wearing it at wake up time on Green Day, all day!" I obliged.

After giving up.... losing.... raising the white flag. I feel good.  I let it go because it doesn't matter.  I have laid down some law when it means not being appropriate {letting her know I am still Mama and in charge} because naked isn't a choice, it is from the dirty clothes basket, or it is not corresponding with the weather but otherwise Tula is proudly putting on her own clothes each day.  And she is wide eyed and bushy tailed to hop out of her bed, put on her hand picked items, and show off the day's attire.  This little adjustment of our morning is setting the tone for the rest of the day and I spend the next many hours feeling thankful that I lost the clothes battle.

Happy Tula ---> Happy Mama

Joss @ 6 months

Joss @ 6 months

 Weight: 14lbs 9oz (20%)

Height: 25 1/2 inches (38%)

 February 13th was Joss' half birthday and we woke her up singing "Happy half birthday to you!!" and she gave us that big gummy smile that we love!

 What's for dinner?

The big milestone at 6 months is that we are eating!  At a little after 5 months we started adding food into her diet.  She has had apples, bananas, pears, prunes, avocado, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, and peas.  This time around I decided to take my sis-in-law up on using her Baby Bullet and I have made all of my own baby food.  I absolutely think it is the easiest thing ever- it's cheap, it's healthy, and it makes me feel a little Suzy home-maker-ish which is so fun! Joss' favorite is probably avocado and prunes (thank goodness, because girlfriend needs her prunes).  The only ones that she has made a grumpy face for at first were sweet potatoes and peas, but now she seems to like both!

 Chunky Legs and No Chompers

By the looks of these thighs this girl is growing just fine!!! I love her rolly legs and have not had that experience with my other two girls so it is so precious.  I can't get enough of it!  I have a hard time believing she is only in the 20% in weight.... she seems huge to me! 

She loves her food and everything else to go straight to her mouth but to our knowledge she is not teething.  There are no signs of Joss getting chompers anytime soon but she sure is enjoying gumming and drooling all over everything.

 What's Up?

Joss is!! And she is trying to sit so tall and proud to play with her toys!

Joss proves nature wins.

This smiley, happy girl has showed us something.... a baby is who she is!  With Ivy we parented very structured as a Babywise baby.  We found great success with this but life felt a little rigid, especially when she didn't sleep well unless she was in her bed and it was meltdown central if we weren't right on schedule.  So with Tula we jumped ship.... so we thought... and had a very laid back baby. Slept in the car seat, stroller, bouncy seat, swing, in our arms, pretty much anywhere if she was ready to nap she could nap.  Joss was bound to be that way as baby number 3..... well, it just so happens nature wins and Joss is a routine kind of girl and she pretty much set that up herself.  She naps and eats like clockwork and at 7pm she is ready for bath and 7:30pm lights out and girlfriend is snoozing.  All is grand until that set wake up time that routine babies LOVE and she is wide eyed bushy tailed and ready to go at 6:30am whether it is Tuesday or Saturday, this little lady is by nature a routine, on schedule baby!  We can't complain because it is good that she is predictable and a wonderful sleeper but we are going to keep working on tweaking that early bed time and early wake up just in time for summer! We are ready to play in the setting sun and sleep in.... just a touch!

Overall we loved celebrating a half a year of this little one's life!  We love you, Jossie Mae, and are so thankful that you are in our family!

Am I Raising Pagans?

My mom sent me this excellent article regarding raising pagan children.... without even knowing it.  It really resonated with me and has sat on my heart, lingered in my mind, and pinched the tip of my tongue since I read it.  I've had it all wrong since becoming a mother and am hell bent.... excuse my language.... on fixing it....NOW.  I have encouraged, pleaded, and made my children obey and make good choices "because the Bible says to" and "because it makes Jesus happy" and "because that's what you do if you are a Christian."  Eeeeek..... do those motivations keep me turning to Christ?  No, unfortunately they might even frighten me.  I would dare to say I am embarrassed by the Christians who beg our society to "behave" for those same reasons.

 But I'll tell you what motivates me- Christ's love and grace.  That I am never going to be "good" without Him.  I know that I wake up and need Him, crave Him- or else I will have a loss of a day.  I want my kids to know that kind of love and dependence and they learn it from yours truly.   I have to model this daily. I have to model asking for forgiveness and grace and mercy in front of my girls. {Talk about being broken.... in front of an audience}  I have to model welcoming the Spirit into my heart to guide me and equip me with those wonderful fruits to be able to be Christ-like in a pagan world.  I want my kids to grow up and be an example of Christ's love and joy to others that they meet rather than a recording of Biblical laws and rules.

So I asked myself the real question- what can I do to provide opportunities to be joyful and loving rather than having a fire and brimstone sort of life? I can be joyful when we bake together.....and half the flour is spilled all over the table and our birthday cookies turn to crisp.  I can allow them to love on each other and help each other.... even when it takes so much longer than me helping.  I can provide opportunity encourage friends, teachers, and ministers through cards and hugs.  I can show them how we clean out our gently used items for fire victims in our community.... even when this is a taxing project with miniture pack rats who throw fits to see their hardly ever used things given away.  I can let them be the light and smiles with elderly, even their great grandparents.  And I can give them the reason why..... not because the Bible says so..... but because that is how He loves us.  And the most promising part, when we miss an opportunity to be joyful and loving Christ's grace is enough to wipe that slate clean and try again. 

It's my goal, my heart's most strongest desire to never again use the Bible or my own Jesus as a scare tactic to motivate obedience from my girls.  But rather teach them that our only need is for His love and grace, because without Him we can never be "good."

snowing patience

I spent at least 20 minutes dressing these girls and convincing Tula she really needed all these layers only for her stand screaming at the door in 3 minutes because she really just wanted to wear tights INSIDE rather than play outside.

A huge perk to my husband spending my 30th birthday in 2 ERs (another story for another day- he is fine and well now) was that he stayed home the next day to enjoy the first snowday of the week with us.  Ivy loved to have him home to play outside with her!

 Well, snowflakes have been falling and temperatures have been dropping for the past 4 days with no relief giving me a week off of school for my birthday week.  Snow days.  I love them!  Huge perk of being a teacher.  A wonderful surprise to wake up to.  Memories are made at home with my little ladies.  But for the sake of keeping it real in this space, I wish it were snowing patience rather than snowing snowflakes this week.  This week I have had to count to 10 (or maybe 1,000) more times than I care to share, spoken in a whisper to say "I feel like screaming", and busted out in random song to tell my girls for the seven trillionth time to please stop arguing! SO maybe it is snowing patience in the form of "let me give you some practice" rather than dishing out this character trait by the truckloads. 

Nothing like a snow day, or a week of them, to practice having patience and to really challenge me in my quest to not yell for 365 days.  This week has been good for the most part but sometimes when I sit down to write I just have to reflect on the struggles first to get them out and that's where I am today.  Have I yelled? Nope.  Have I felt like yelling? Yes, approximately 32 times each waking hour of the last 4 days.  Being cooped in the house is challenging especially when my girls like to get out and go, and that isn't so easy with ice covered pavement, a tiny baby, and a mama that is afraid to drive or even walk out in the elements. So I have tried to overcome these feelings and accept the practice for patience time that God is giving me.

What's working?

* We are eating breakfast together.  Tula likes to eat RIGHT when she wakes up, Ivy likes to wait until nearly lunch to take a bite of breakfast. So I end up making breakfasts and cleaning up breakfasts for 3 hours- testing my patience- yep.  So we've met in the middle and are eating one time!  

 

* No TV time until I need to take a shower in peace. By this time the girls are usually a little tired of toys and each other, and if it's been kept on lock down all morning they are ready for a little veg time and Joss is taking a peaceful morning nap.

* Quiet time in unison. I think I mastered the "everyone's going to be silent for at least 30 minutes.... simultaneously" skill that is a must of mom's with more than one child. Ivy has quiet time (Thank you, Rainbow Loom!), Tula takes a nap, Joss takes a nap, and Mommy has Bible study time to remember that even in Esther's time it was tough being a woman.

* No more multitasking.... writing an email takes 35 minutes if it is in between taking care of baby dolls, singing to Joss, and breaking up fights over baby cradles..... writing an email takes 2 minutes when all children are playing nicely or better yet, sleeping nicely.

So this afternoon, keeping it real, that days at home can be trying, but I have survived and am practicing patience knowing that these days are fleeting.  Little kids, little problems.... at least I don't have to worry about them trying to get out an drive on these roads or go out and do donuts with their friends in an abandon parking lot.  Not that I have ever done that.... never.  Little kids, little problems, and thank you, Lord, for snowing patience on me.

On Tuesday morning Ivy left these on the computer.... love notes from my girl are always a pick me up.

My saving grace.... "Let's take a bath!".... never mind that it is only 4pm and we never got out of our pajamas.

Weaning

 Today Joss is 5 months old and Tula had a to "help" with taking her picture. 

In my own experience with 3 babies I have had 3 very different nursing experiences.  With Ivy's I was constantly trying to jump the next hurdle, with Tula I was on a mission to prove something to myself, and with Joss I was very anxious about how nursing might look with two big kids to run around.  But I only have good things to say about my time nursing Joss (other than that time with mastitis and, oh yes, the dreaded pumping at work) but other than that this time has been balanced, peaceful, and so go with the flow.

 Daddy always loves feeding Joss, but I am quite the baby hog in this house. Sorry Daddy!

 If you read that last sentence and know me at all you just might have laughed and then you might have read it again because those characteristics don't usually describe me or my life.  But seriously, I was so nervous, panicky, and worried my entire pregnancy with this sweet baby so I spent lots of time in prayer just begging for God to cover me with the fruits of the spirit especially once I became a mommy to three.  And that prayer has been answered in so many ways since Joss has entered our family, but today I want to reflect on how I felt His spirit in nursing.

 

Joss was my first baby to latch on and eat without a nipple shield.....ever. -- I was patient with learning to nurse again.

Joss ate good and slept good from the night we came home from the hospital if I am being honest. -- We were all joyful about good sleep.

Mommy got mastitis, I was able to nurse through it.-- I was calm during this trial.

Mommy's milk seemed to take a hit after mastitis and I had to supplement one evening bottle of  breast milk and/or formula before I had a stash starting at 3 weeks. --I was peaceful with this addition to Joss' diet.

My milk came back and I was able to strictly nurse by 6 weeks. -- I was thankful.

I went back to work and was pumping 2ish times a day and still have quite the stash to show for it. -- I had self control to manage my time at work to fit this in.

Around the 4 month mark I started feeling ready to start weaning. -- I started off anxious for a "right now" fix but instead was patient in waiting to know when was the best time and I let Joss take the lead. There was never any crying or upset tummies over the bottle.  There was never any rejection felt by mommy or baby.  There were smiles, full bellies, and lots of helpers.

 Ivy was excited to feed Joss for the first time.

So shortly after the 4 month mark I decided that my time at home over Christmas with Joss would be the best option to start weaning my littlest babe.  I knew I wanted to be there.  I wanted to feed the bottles.  I wanted to be able to look at her and comfort her and bond with her even if I wasn't nursing her.  And I was filled with such a peace that I was making the right choice for my family.  I felt absolutely covered in His love during this time that I feared would be over emotional or have major regrets once it started. I weaned one feeding a week for the past 4 weeks and this evening I nursed Jossie May for the last time.

Smiley girl!

I could have sat and rocked her and cried, not knowing if I would ever have this experience again or I could sing His praises for making this so smooth for us.  So I chose the latter.  Did I have tears? Absolutely.  But boy, did I feel blessed to be able to nurse and wean without a bump in the road- I keep saying third time's a charm.  I was able to listen to her hunger cues to know when I needed to add a bottle.  I was able to be there to feed a lot of those first bottles.  I was able to allow my body time to drop feedings to keep from becoming completely engorged.  It was good.  God was good.

Today I feel so blessed that I was able to nurse without issue for 5 months.

Today I feel so blessed that my girl is healthy and happy and growing.

Today I feel so blessed that I am at peace and embracing this decision- I wore a real bra today and got to exercise in the morning!! (I'm totally embracing!!)

So today we are weaned and we are blessed in the Smorstad house.

new year's "revolutions" and hot cocoa chats

today was our first snow day or rather cold day of the year.  even though it wasn't the day i would choose (the first day we were scheduled to go back after a long break)- it was wonderful.  wonderful to have a reason to be frozen in and not leave the house all day. wonderful to soak up some more time with my girls. wonderful not to have to get out of pajamas.

it's a new year- 2014- yep, 30 years after the year i was born (eeek!!)- and a new year, the start of a new decade in my life, is a good time to commit to some new things.  over the last few years i have learned to create attainable goals that truly push me but are not impossible. so this year's revolutions:

1* stop yelling (365 days without yelling)- i was loving the orange rhino challenge and this is just being more intentional to put things in place to stop yelling completely.  i already slipped and raised my voice on january 3rd but i hopped right back on the horse.  i have "no yelling" reminders on my phone set to ring at high stress times, i am trying to stop and have energy breaks when i'm feeling tense, and there will always be 2 very loud, very persistent little girls to help me succeed.

2* read the bible daily- NO more crazy goals but just to simply open my bible daily.  when His words fill me and i am drawing near to Him in so many ways i am a better wife, mom, teacher, etc.  this will help me to reach number 1 and number 3.

3* spend one on one time with my girls.  this is a daily thing- the reason that i am free from facebook- to be intentional about making time to connect to the people closest to my heart. but it's also a special thing, so we set up a monthly date calendar for them to ensure we are both investing time in our children.  ivy is excited because her and daddy are scheduled for january! this year ivy and tula will each get 3 dates with me and 3 with daddy. i know the return for this time well spent will be huge as they grow older!

so today, ivy and i had a hot cocoa date during the little girl's nap time and we talked about "revolutions." ivy is really into what everyone's revolutions are and no matter how many times i corrected.... resolutions.... she is continuing to talk about her revolutions, my revolutions, everyone's revolutions.  she hopes to pet the dog more - a revolution that she has already deemed super difficult. she also wants to work on being a good friend- naming specific things that she wants to do at school.... asking people to play who are shy, listening more when her friends are talking, and not just having one best friend.

it isn't always easy to stop and spend time with just ivy and me.  sometimes i am talked out, i am listened out, and i need a little peace, a little quiet while both tula and joss nap.  so i had her have 30 minutes of quiet time and during that time i was able to prepare myself for some one on one time with my biggest girl.  i know it sounds silly to say "prepare" but friends, it's true, it is sometimes hard for me to give up me time (nap time) to anyone else but when i do stop, disconnect from everything and everyone else, i am always thankful. 

i am thankful to learn more about my girl's heart.  that she is growing older and wanting to be a better friend.  that she has compassion toward our sweet pup and for the shy girl in her class. that she is asking questions- why do you want to not yell anymore? why do you need to read the bible every day?- good questions that push me, and that hold me accountable to my actions. i was thankful to hear her heart and share mine with her.  i see her pretending and playing and being a little girl but then in our one on one time i see that she is maturing into a little lady (not too fast though).  i want to be sure i am doing all i can to shape her into the lady God calls her to be..... and my actions are the first thing she will want to imitate. the pressure is on- but i am ready to rise to the challenge.

cheers to new revolutions!